


Bittersweet Symphony

by SailorSlayer3641



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 5x20 spec fic, F/M, and it parallels with 3x20, don't take the title lightly, inspired by guggie's twitter post of the art department picture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:57:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10164458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorSlayer3641/pseuds/SailorSlayer3641
Summary: This is a 3x20 parallel fic I’ve had ruminating for a while since the above picture was release by Guggie.  In 3x20, Felicity told Oliver what he needed to hear to get through the dark days with the league, and here I try to do something similar, but with Felicity being the one who’s facing the dark.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy reading lovelies! I hope we get something like this in 5x20!

**"Bittersweet Symphony"**

****

 

The dank, wet smell doesn’t bother her as much as it should. Instead it reminds her of the foundry back in the old days when it was just her, Oliver, and Diggle…when things were simpler, when she had a grip on who she was. The momentary memory lapse is a stark contrast to the present.

As her arms wrap around herself, and her hands fidget with the sleeves of her sweater, she can’t help but think about everything that led her to this moment in time. It’s such a clear path, but hindsight is twenty-twenty.

The last person she expected to follow her into this dark abyss pulls her from her recriminating thoughts.

“Felicity, you can’t do this.”

She watches him rub his hand across his forehead in frustration, fatigue, weariness…the past few weeks were taking their toll on him. She hates to pile on more, but she’s determined.

“I have to Oliver. Helix is my responsibility now.”

“You don’t have to do it alone.”

Alone. That’s all she’s been for so long now.

“But I do. I need to fix this, and if there’s any chance that I can shut them down from the inside, I need to take it. Looking back now, this is exactly where everything has been leading me. My father, Cooper and MIT…you. The city needs you. And I need to right my wrongs.”

“I know I can’t stop you, but you should know, you may think the city needs me, but _I_ need _you_.”

“Oliver, you haven’t needed me in over a year.”

At that he laughs humorlessly, but she doesn’t know why. She’s watched him defeat Darhk, take down Tobias Church, succeed as mayor over and over…and she knows he’s going to defeat Prometheus. He’s done all of this without her, romantically or otherwise.

He takes a few steps closer to her. She can see the wrinkles in his dress shirt, evidence of a long day in the mayor’s office. He shouldn’t have even been here. She thought she’d have more time to tie up loose ends before they came for her. But now they were taking her by force, and Oliver had been in the bunker with her when the perimeter alarms went off.

That stubborn, stubborn man. She tried to explain, but he grabbed her and hauled her off to a hidden unfinished section of the bunker. He was in full protection mode.

“I have needed you Felicity. I’ve needed you _every_ day for the past year.”

“Well you sure have a funny way of showing it,” she starts, his words sparking her deeply buried  anger and sadness.

“You walked away from _me_ , Felicity,” he grits out, taking another step closer to her.

“And you let me…” she bites back, looking up into his eyes.

“I don’t _let_ you do anything. I thought I was doing what you wanted, respecting your wishes.”

“Maybe I wanted a real apology. _Maybe_ I wanted you to show me that you trusted me…needed me,” she finishes softly, all the fight leaving her.

She can feel the stinging burn of tears building. She turns quickly, holding herself tighter than before.

When she feels the warm palm of his hand on her shoulder, she takes a ragged breath, and lets the tears start to fall down her face.

“I’m so sorry, Felicity, for everything. I’m sorry for lying about William. I’m sorry for making you think I don’t need you. I’m sorry for not being there for you after Havenrock and Billy.”

At that she tries to shake her head and tell him otherwise.

“Yes. Above everything else, we’re friends, and I didn’t know how to be that for you, be there for you…and not want more, not want to kiss away your pain, not want to hold you close at night and chase away your nightmares. It was selfish.”

She turns to look at him in shock. His face is laced with concern and sincerity. She chokes on her words, the pain it takes to force them out is almost too much.

“I’ve been _so_ alone,” she finally admits.

“You want to tell me about your day…friend?” he asks, bringing his hand back up to her shoulder.

Like a dam breaking, she collapses into his arms, sobs wracking through her body. A year’s worth of grief and guilt and sadness spill forth.

He pulls her closer, holding her tighter, and it only makes her cry harder.

“Shh, shh. You’re not alone, not anymore,” he says soothingly, his hands trailing up and down her back soothingly.

Her fists cling to his shirt, adding to the pre-existing wrinkles, and her tears leave giant wet stains in their wake. Somehow, she feels impossibly small, but safe, in his strong arms once again.

It feels like forever and not long enough when she pulls away from him.

“Thank you. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I don’t know who I am anymore, but maybe, if I can fix things with Helix, I can at least keep them from ruining more people’s lives.”

A few more errant tears fall as she brings the back of her sleeve up to wipe at her nose. He brushes back the strands of hair that have fallen out of her ponytail before he takes a hold of her hands.

“You may not know who you are right now, but I do. You’re the woman who agreed to help a reckless man, and you helped him find his cause. You’re a person who uses their amazing genius to save people’s lives, to make them better.”

He pauses in his speech to tenderly pluck her glasses off her face. He folds them carefully and puts them in his pocket before reaching up to softly use his thumbs to dry the few errant tears that have escaped. He shifts a bit closer to her before continuing.

“And you’re trustworthy. You’ve never once betrayed me or those you love, a fact that I failed to remember with William, but it’s a mistake I’ll never make again. It’s going to kill me to let you go, but I trust that you’ll do what’s best. And you can trust me when I say that I’ll always be here to remind you of who you are.”

His words break something loose, and without thought she reaches up and kisses him quickly, almost painfully in her eagerness when her nose bumps his. Within seconds it’s over and she’s jumping back from him in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, oh god, I’m sorry. That was just like months worth of pent up feelings just taking control of my body. _So, so_ _sorry_ ,” she finishes, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers and squeezing her eyes shut in awkward regret.

Suddenly he’s barely an inch away from her, causing a shift in the air around her. She looks up at him in confusion and is surprised by the gleam in his eye.

“I’m not,” he says clearly before tangling his fingers in her messy ponytail and pulling their lips back together once again.

He kisses her long and thoroughly with determination, rendering her completely weak in his arms. It’s just as amazing as she remembers, but there’s a new passion behind it, the promise of better times to come. A long lost feeling bubbles up inside her. She wishes they had more time.

There are loud voices calling her name from the main part of the bunker, tossing out one threat after another. He finally lets her go, and their foreheads meet as they both catch their breaths.

“I can’t leave you,” he admits brokenly.

“You have to. Go, _please_ ,” she begs.

She didn’t get into this mess just for him to be swept away with her. She started this to save Oliver and she refuses to let it be for nothing.

“We’re still saying goodbye to each other…we’re still no good at it,” he says with a sad smile.

“Then let’s not say goodbye,” she whispers, her lips brushing his softly as she speaks.

She looks down and trails her hands down his arm until she reaches his hand. Her fingers dance over his palm and knuckles, brushing over familiar callouses and scars. She loves his hands.

“Go be Oliver Queen and the Green Arrow, the hero Star City needs,” she says while still staring at their fingers twining together.

“You’re _my_ hero, Felicity Smoak. Promise me you’ll come back,” he demands, his voice desperate.

Instead of possibly lying to him, she leans up and kisses him with all the love she’s had for him the past year. She runs her fingers through his longer hair and memorizes the way he moans into her mouth and the way he tastes. She’s going to fight like hell to come back to this.

She backs away from him, putting the needed space between them, otherwise she’ll never follow through with her plan.

He slowly steps back towards the brick hole leading to the sewers. Neither one of them can look away from the other.

Something causes him to pause, and he reaches down into his pants pocket pulling out her glasses.

“Your glasses…” he says holding them out to her, but she can’t move.

One inch closer to him and she’d run away with him.

“You keep them…give them back to me one day,” she says with a sad half smile.

He nods his head quietly and gingerly returns them to his pocket.

“I love you,” he says earnestly, taking one last long look at her before turning his back on her and disappearing into the dark escape tunnel.

Quietly, she whispers back.

“I’ll always be your girl.”

**She makes her way to the trap door that leads back to the bunker, prepared to meet her fate.**


End file.
